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012: The Attic

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012: The Attic

Post by Chezberryz456 on 21st August 2010, 2:52 am

NOTES:
- Ambers POV
------------------------------
012: The Attic

I climbed up the rickety set of stairs up to the attic of Wu’s Garden. I never even thought it had an attic, let alone find myself going up there. I imagined it would be a pleasant use of space, maybe a small sitting area, or something of the like. Maybe a small armchair and a fluffy sort of rug, with a smallish bookcase and a few Chinese ordainments lying around. A light and airy place. But much to my dismay, I realised how wrong I was. I pulled myself off the steps, and into the attic. Big boxes lay just about everywhere. The place was gloomy, and felt somewhat depressing. A dimly lit bulb hung in the centre of the roof, with not enough power to illuminate the far corners of the attic.

What was it Nana had said again.... Oh, that was it. The far right corner, the third box down. I had to get a ring or something. But there was something else.... Something that Nana had said, that had seemed important at the time... oh well, I’d remember later.

I crept over to the far right corner and found the box that I needed. I opened the flaps, one by one, and revealed the contents inside. Nothing. But one small ring in the corner. I reached down and grabbed it.

One huge box for something so small?

I shrugged. Maybe it was important to Nana. It didn’t look very important. It was just a gold band, no fancy jewels, no writing engraved into it. But there was something about it. I didn’t know what though. I just wanted to put it on. Surely Nana wouldn’t mind if I said I couldn’t find it. I shrugged. She didn’t say what she needed it for, so it mustn’t have been that important. I looked at it, then slid it onto my index finger. Suddenly the trap doors of the attic fell shut with a slam. I ran over to it and yanked on the handle. It didn’t open. I yanked harder. Still it didn’t budge. This time I pulled with all my strength. It hadn’t opened, and my arms ached badly. I guessed someone must have pulled it closed.
“Hello?” I called, kneeling down, and putting my ear to the door. I couldn’t hear anyone beneath me. “HELLO?” I called again, louder this time. I banged on the door. Then I stopped. Tobey or someone must have tried to pull a prank or something. “TOBEY?” I shouted, and pounded on the door. “TOBEY! THIS ISN’T FUNNY!” I let out a desperate cry. “TOBEY! LET ME OUT NOW!” I screamed, frustrated. Suddenly a loud creak echoed behind me. I jumped; then turned. A box, large enough to fit a person inside caught my attention.

Surely I’d have noticed that before?

I noticed locks on the side, which were unlocked. I stumbled over to the box and stared at it. I wiped my tears of frustration with my hand, and then set to opening the big, strange box. I clasped my hands around the lid, and pushed upwards. It creaked open, and a foul smell erupted out. The smell of something rotting. I gagged, feeling extremely sick, and scanned the attic for something to throw up in. I settled with a metal trash bin. After trying to clean myself up a bit, I covered my nose and mouth with my hand, and crept back over to the box. The smell seeped through the gaps in-between my fingers and I suddenly felt the need to use the trash bin again. But I swallowed down the feeling and peered inside. The sight made me want to vomit in its-self. A dead body, presumably years old, lay in the box (Which I now sussed out was a coffin). I staggered back, horrified at the sight.

Why on Earth did Nana have this in the attic? Who on Earth is it.... or was it?

He, if it was male, looked old, around mid eighties or nineties. He was bald... or whatever hair he might of had had disintegrated. He was wearing robes, which looked like they had been red or pink in their past life. But the thing that horrified me most was the condition of the body’s skin. It was green and cracked, and had shrivelled in some places. I backed up, as far as I could, until I hit the wall. It was then, that I remembered what Nana had said that was so important.

"And when you find it, whatever you do, DON’T PUT IT ON." Oh. I had really messed that one up.

I clasped the ring and pulled at it. It wouldn’t come off though. I tugged harder, hurting my finger, but the ring didn’t budge. Suddenly I heard a moan from the coffin. I glanced at it. The body, the dead body, the dead body that was rotting, had sat up. My eyes widened and I looked down at the ring. I grabbed it, and pulled as hard as I could. If I pulled any harder, I swear my finger would come off. The body grabbed onto the sides of the coffin and hauled it’s-self up. I screamed, and wrenched at the ring. I managed to pull my finger out of its socket, but the ring stayed put. Tears of frustration streamed down my face. I screamed for some-one to help me. The body climbed over the side of the coffin, and advanced towards me, with his arms stretched out like a zombie.
“NOO! PLEASE!” I screamed, my throat closing up. I struggled to breathe as I tried to scream. It was almost touching me now. I sank down to the floor, crying and screaming desperately. It grabbed my neck and hauled me back up. I tried to breathe in, but the body had blocked off my airways. I fell limp, then unconscious...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow, two horror stories in one day...
And I hope this one is good, because I was writting it at mid-night, and really freaked myself out... lol. That's just me I guess. XD


Last edited by Chezberryz456 on 21st August 2010, 8:04 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Chezberryz456

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Re: 012: The Attic

Post by WolfieStar on 21st August 2010, 3:18 am

OMG THAT WAS SO CREEPY AND I LOVED IT.

The only thing i saw was at the end you went to third person for a sentence or two, saying 'her' and such.

I think this is your best work. (:
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Re: 012: The Attic

Post by Chezberryz456 on 21st August 2010, 2:09 pm

Wow! Thanks! (:
Yeah I found keeping it in first tense hard (as I don't often write in it) but I think it should be ok now...
I'm glad you thought it was creepy! I freaked myself stupid when I was writting it Last night! XD
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Re: 012: The Attic

Post by WolfieStar on 21st August 2010, 2:19 pm

It's good to try out new styles, at first I only wrote in third person, but after trying first, now that's all I'm writing!

It totally depends on what's better for the person.
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Re: 012: The Attic

Post by swim2live on 24th August 2010, 3:23 am

Wow. Just, wow. Yeah, your best work, hands down.

It was just reading right along thinking "This is kinda creepy." THEN I saw the Body getting out of the coffin thing, and I freaked. You always buid it up till the end. The best part is always the last thing the reader sees. I LOVE IT!
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Re: 012: The Attic

Post by Chezberryz456 on 24th August 2010, 1:41 pm

wow! thanks! (:
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